You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
