I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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