Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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