I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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