So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
