yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize