you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize