I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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