I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
