My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
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