Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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