Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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