I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
