he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
