Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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