I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize