Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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