It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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