K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
