I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize