i just wanna soil my oats bro
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
