That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
