I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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