Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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