Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize