Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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