he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think people are normalizing furries
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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