sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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