just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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