It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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