Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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