You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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