he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize