glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
