So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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