the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
