dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
