its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
