it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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