I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
