Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
