I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
