Tell her she can't have a vagina
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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