I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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