your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
