I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
