No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
