No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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