Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize