This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
