I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
