just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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