Is it because I queefed?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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