So drunk its hurt
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize