New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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