How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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