I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
