if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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